Sullen v.5



the rest will come when it comes along

Saturday, January 12, 2008

so I'm trying to take the good advice of a friend by letting a guy "just pull up a chair" at.. oh.. just the best restaurant in town? I didn't realize it was "the best restaurant in town" (because I've never been there and apparently it's a new place) until I told my mom where I was going. Just super. So I thought this was a chill thing.. with a friend.. and now I know it's not. Now I'm freaking out because I'm the queen of the undefined and I see this whole situation headed right down undefined lane... and I'm all about staying out of that lane.. and how did I get on this road again.. and oh shit.

so besides all that. Things are just fine. I'm probably making too big of a deal about going to dinner tonight (which was supposed to be lunch, but somehow got pushed back), but here's the problem.. there's this other guy who I might start actually seeing on a consistent basis. Who knows because it's still kind of an early thing?..but we're supposed to go snowboarding together tomorrow after already hanging out today. And now I'm going to get caught in a bad situation because I've done a bad job about reading things and accepting invitations, once again. And it would all be simple if I just cleared the air tonight, but knowing how things go: I will insist to pay (in an effort to just be friends and see if he accepts it in the first place to better read the situation), he won't let me, and bam now it should probably be my duty to say something but why say something when he's just "asking to pull up a chair" and just being nice? It's hard to know because sometimes it seems guys genuinely do just want to hangout with me and to them it's the right thing to do to pay regardless of the situation, but with other guys.. like the guy I'm going to dinner with.. we have hung out on multiple occasions (where he hasn't paid), this is definitely a step up, and I'm almost certain he wouldn't take me to this place unless he planned on paying. And if things go well, I'll pay my portion and we'll be good.. but my gut tells me that's now how it's going to be.

story of my life. Maybe I'll try to do some things differently this time and see how it goes... yeah.... so excited about this. wow. how much do I look forward to the day when guys start being straight with me about their intentions upfront? yeah that's never going to happen apparently.. it's just always going to be me reading too much or too little into a situation. Then again.. these sort of things aren't necessarily what people plan on.. like maybe it starts off as genuinely just friends, and suddenly they start thinking they want it to be more than that, and so why would they have said anything in the beginning?? Ha. I don't know. Time to stop thinking. And off I go.