Sullen v.5



a sure shot hit with your name attached to it

Saturday, June 23, 2007

So.. taking a moment to come back to the topic of guys, and dating..

Not gonna even lie.. I'm feeling flattered x 100 back in my hometown compared to CA. I don't know what it is. A California glow? The allergy-medication I've been taking? The stars on my side (ha, yeahh).. Or maybe California guys just have no-freaking-appreciation because they're all so jaded with what their perception of 'beauty' is (not to offend anyone from California.. it's just a general overall impression.. although I have met many, very nice, guys from California.)

Thing is.. I have been a little overwhelmed with the increase in verbalized feedback, after just a week in my hometown.. comin' at me left and right these days. It's just a little more direct than I'm used to, and while it's extremely flattering, it's a little crazy how it feels like it's coming at me from all directions at any one time (especially when I'm out-and-about, and apparently my brother's friends?.. who told him they think I'm "amazingly beautiful"??.. haha, so sweet, and a little weird). No games either, when I'm out.. which is mucho-appreciated. Keeping it interesting is one thing, but I'm discovering that I really prefer guys who don't beat around the bush if they're interested in something more than friends. Frankly I'm done with analyzing friendship, and it will pretty-much always stay at a friendship-level with me unless a guy has the courage to let me know how he's feeling.. If I'm interested, great!.. If I'm not, I'll be completely honest at where I'm at in my thoughts. And if I'm not, it really doesn't change things with me in the friendship when I "know", because to some degree I've already suspected it at some point (really not to be arrogant, but sometimes ya just know).. and I have had cases where they *have* told me (which I deeply respect) and I *haven't* felt the same, but I'm still happy with being friends without any awkwardness, and it's only become awkward when the guy can't deal with "just being friends."

Anyway. Guess I have to keep my ego in check these days. And really, as flattering as it bet is still on the allergy medication. ;) God bless Zyrtec. :P haha.