Sullen v.5



when the sun goes down and the shadows grow

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

I've been on a roadtrip over this past week... I wasn't sure how I'd handle it because I can get antsy being in a car for too long, and sometimes can get perturbed with things after being surrounded by the same people for too long.. but so far everything has been pretty smooth filled with great new sights and experiences. I think the whole trip has definitely been better because of a third person who came along at the last minute... talk about a God-send.. not that I don't have a good time with my other friend, but I think we *really* would have got on each other's nerves more if we didn't have the third person along for the ride...a second car.. which allowed me to go back and forth between cars throughout the ride.. haha... so yeah.. I've been able to split my time between these cars throughout the ride, and I think that has *definitely* improved my overall perception of this trip being great so far (despite the immense amount of driving).

The trip itself was kind of a spontaneous decision to begin with, but I'm finding it's been good.. despite taking time off from work.. because the time driving has really allowed me to reflect on life and where I want to go with it right now.. especially when I'm driving. Lately I find that when I do have down-time I avoid reflecting on the future and what I want *specifically*.. because I have ADD or something.. but when I'm sitting in the car and forced to focus on the road.. I'm attentive and actively thinking about things.. I dunno.. it's weird, but good. I've definitely figured out 'a plan' of some sort.. or at least some direction in what type of career I want in my future.. so that's good.. to at least have a rough draft of 'the plan'.. because previously I had no idea. I'll try to expand more on the specifics of what this is, later, but for now I still want some time to think things over. I've also been presented with new job opportunity since going on this road trip. It's funny because I really have no problem with good opportunities falling into my lap..which is probably why I'm so picky/hesitant about what I select.. but there are definitely some random things that have come up recently that sound very good.. would require me to move to Denver, CO.. but that's something more that intrigues me... again.. will expand more on this as it develops. This new opportunity that has come up will mean that I will be turning down an almost-guaranteed job offer with this other company I have been interviewing for.. I am on round three of the interviews with them, in Los Angeles, CA.. and truthfully I'm just over LA and ready to move on. This company honestly couldn't offer me anything to make me accept the position at the expense of being stuck in LA for who-knows how longer.

The only problem about moving is not knowing anyone there... and especially not having any family around (except maybe one aunt in a nearby city..) ..and I'm pretty good about making friends so I'm not too worried.. but I do wish some of my closer friends could be around too. It's crazy how things have really changed drastically in the recent month with my social-scene.. but I knew it was coming, so.. yeah.. despite knowing.. it's still been difficult.. or it is at times, to not be able to see certain people... I think it's been easier than I did expect just because I've been so incredibly busy lately.. also because of distractions like this road trip.. but I still think about them a lot and wonder what's going on... especially because there are constantly things around me that remind me of them.. and it's those times like that I really wish they could be there with me, experiencing these things, laughing at an inside joke.. and I can't tell anyone else because they won't *really* get it.. so it's kind of sad......yeah... but I guess for everything there's a time..and right now the time is to grow from those experiences and take on the future.. so... trying to figure out where that puts me right now.

love this song.. just came up on my playlist and on my headphones.... Goo Goo Dolls - Become
"let me remind you that the light doesn't blind you at all--it just helps you see"