Sullen v.5



wish it were simple

Friday, April 20, 2007

As usual, I regret what I write, in hindsight. Well I don't completely regret it..although I do feel like I overreact a bit. It's true that at the time I was very disappointed with some things .. but the thing is.. when you like someone.. even love them.. you realize that everyone has their shortcomings.. and it's when you can identify what those shortcomings are and continue to feel something for that person.. it's then that you really know you're .. screwed.. haha.. just kidding.. .. you know there's something special about that bond and you want to try to work through it. In any relationship people are going to be hurt by those that are close to them... and for me, especially, it's easier to feel hurt because I definitely hold a higher standard for those that I let close to me. I have a lot of friends, but I don't have a lot of friends who I allow to really be a part of my life on a regular basis.. and not too many that I, myself, make the effort to invest a large amount of time in on a regular basis. In fact, I've noticed that I have a really hard time making plans with other friends even two days in advance, but that there are a select few who I will easily devote a weekend to, a week in advance. Anyway. It's a hard time, too, because there are inevitable "ends" in sight right now.. and it makes me a bit antsy and just perturbed that I can't control the situation.. that closure might not happen the way I would hope it to.. or that closure won't happen and I'm not sure how that will feel...

something I read and hope I can seriously *take to heart* and somehow act upon:

If something is broken in one of your relationships, you need to fix it -- pronto! There's no point now in dwelling on what caused the problem, or on who said what to whom. . the two of you need to focus more on moving forward together. Let go of past mistakes. Be forgiving. Blame just doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. What does matter is the quality of your connections with other people.