Sullen v.5



Ups and Downs

Saturday, July 22, 2006

The other day I had a nervous breakdown. Actually, I don't know I would call it a "nervous" breakdown as much as I would just call it simply a "breakdown," but either way, there is no doubt that it was due in part by the tension I've been feeling these days. My job borders on unreasonably-demanding, and although it is a wonderful opportunity for someone in my position (coming directly out of undergrad), the compensation never feels like enough. Furthermore, not having the best relations with the other director I have been working alongside makes things even more difficult. I'm not going to lie, I feel superior to her in many aspects, and I struggle with receiving feedback from her and it complicates my position in the company because feedback is strongly practiced within the company. I think there are good and bad ways to give feedback, and I never feel like her approach is constructive. At any rate, enough with bitching about my job. A guy at a conference I was at recently made a good point, and that's that everyone struggles with work and that it really just doesn't make sense to sit down and start comparing/complaining because we-all-struggle.. period. Anyway. I have quite a good reputation in this company already, primarily in sales. Since the time I have began, they have seen an underperforming center make huge advances within the past month ("never before seen since i-don't-know-when"). Everyone from my mentor, regional director, recruiter, sales trainer, and other colleagues I trained with (who aren't even in my region -- other so. cal regions) have recognized this. It feels great, but hell-o, I'm not getting any comission. I officially recognize that sales is something I excel in (and enjoy to a large degree), and am increasingly interested in pursuing it full-time with a well-paying company (not sure who yet). I am talking with my regional director to reevaluate where I'm at in my current position right now, and if I don't start hearing talk about promotion soon, I suspect I will be leaving. Technically they are already handing off responsibilities to me that only come to someone with promotion (such as running the entire center on my own -- starting this past week), and i think it's only fair. It's incredible how much I have to take care of in any single day. It definitely more difficult, on a daily basis, than college ever was.