Sullen v.5



life ramblings

Monday, February 06, 2006

Drama these days. Not in my life, but others, and I find myself 'counseling' them.. a lot.. not that I really mind. I can't really write about it out of a loyalty in my confidentiality to these friends. I suppose I have *my* issues too, but I'm just rolling with things at the moment.. trying not to think into anything, even though I have things to think about. Avoidance isn't good, but the way I see it.. if nothing is direct, I'm not avoiding anything. I respond to the direct - even if I'm uncomfortable/scared with whatever the situation may be. Heh. If someone is bold enough to be honest/direct with me, I respect that greatly and respond with the genuine truth of my feelings on the matter. I regret to say that it's not me to put myself on the front lines first, but I think I'm worth someone standing up to the front line for me.. then I can pull them back to safety, let them know that's not where I *want* them to be, but I appreciate the fact that they would make that sort of sacrifice if I needed that.

In other news, today is my *22nd* birthday. I expect I'll write a completely separate post from this one, but this is just a catch-up/rambling post considering I haven't posted anything in a while. The matter of the real-world is looming closer with every single day. I'm becoming more frightened, less focused, and avoidant on the subject. I told myself that I'd start -looking- for jobs around February, and now I've pushed that back to March.. "after Spring Break." Speaking of Spring Break.. deciding what to do. Dilemmas dilemmas. I've already turned down two offers to go on a cruise. I've decided not to go to New Orleans to help with the hurricane relief (fine if that makes me a terrible person because I want my last-official-spring-break to be really fun). Now I am left with these ideas:
Las Vegas/random roadtrip... Hawaii... or the tempting option of New York with a couple of my DC friends. New York is the most immediate and looming decision. Most have bought their tickets already, heh, and now it's just in limbo-mode between myself and a-DC-friend deciding if we want to go. Ironic in some ways because we both have to commit to go for the price deal to work. The idea of commitment doesn't seem to be something that either of us are apparently comfortable/good with... so.. it's possible this idea will just fizzle out and we'll be left with random-other plans. heh. I-really-don't-know. I'm kind of at the point in my mind where I'm ready to go through with the New York plan, but.. it takes two. SO. Oh. And the problem that we had planned to go to a concert on the day that we're supposed to be arriving BACK from New York. I was looking forward to the concert. hm.

I don't feel like typing about anything else. here. Took for one source in numerous departments of 'life'.. haha.. and just copy and paste what I can relate to right now.

It's time to find work that you love, especially if you've been increasingly frustrated at your 9 to 5 gig lately. Start small. Think about activities you enjoy, or worthy causes you want to work for, then go from there.

You've been looking at your life lately and wondering if it's at all the way you want it to be. If you're not sure anymore, you have options. You can either seek out a realtor in the city or state of your choice, or you can start flipping through the atlas to find a country you might like to get to know better for a couple of years. Less drastic? Redecorate. 'Create' an entirely new home right where you are.

The stars promise a passionate time, especially if you're willing to listen to the powerful insights and advice they have for you regarding relationships. Make the most of your advantages right now.

A sizzling affair is the last thing you need right now! Be relieved that you're spared the drama and turmoil your friends are going through -- it's never worth it in the end. Wait for a person who harmonizes with you.

This upcoming week:
Your love life is utopian at the start of the week. You have an intellectual connection with this person, you have physical chemistry, you have ideas coming out of your ears about all the creative ways you could spend time together. Spend as much time together Monday through Wednesday, because Thursday and Friday the stars have other things in mind for you. (Something related to your home or family life is broken and needs to be fixed. You're the only person who can fix it.) The weekend is blissfully relationship-centric, although you will most likely have to draw on your diplomatic powers.

The fires of your romantic life are burning so brightly Monday through Wednesday that you can't see anything else. The connection isn't just about physical attraction; it's deeper and more cerebral than that. If you could spend every hour of the week with this person, you would, but Thursday has something else in store for you: a lot of responsibilities to see through. Friday finds you tending to some long overlooked chores as well, although you find them therapeutic. Saturday and Sunday are marked by creativity and sudden changes.