Sullen v.5



change of heart

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Found this funny (below quote). . I don't know. . I was thinking about my last post. . how I felt *so certain* about what I should do; however, that certainty doesn't necessarily come from a logical viewpoint or even a rational/fair approach to making a drastic decision. I've realized, although not always aware of it consciously, that my way of dealing with *emotional* issues is to run from them.

When I say run, I mean more that I use an avoidance tactic. I feel a whirl of confusing emotion inside, and yet will only display a cool/distant/cold/put-together image in times like this. . . . aquarius-to-a-T. Speaking of which, several of my best friends were being goofy with me yesterday and looking into our horoscopes/sun signs.. while theirs were not exactly right-on.. they all felt that mine fits me to an impressive accuracy. . nice because I always thought I might just be reading too much into it. They especially liked, "While Aquarians are generally sympathetic and compassionate, they like it when things go their own quirky way." .. because it used the word 'quirky'.. which *is* usually the case.

Anyway. I have pretty amazing intuition. Again, I'm not just recognizing this myself, but many of my closest friends have told me.. "your intuition is so accurate that it scares me.. if you told me not to get on an airplane.. I would listen."
My inutition is telling me, in this certain case, that there is no avoiding some natural and curious "affinity" (I like the word used below) .. my -emotion-, however, makes me not want to listen to this intuition. I feel that while I may be hurt, there are many things I don't know, and to react on such little evidence is not fair as a friend. And that's what I need to focus on, a great friendship. Distancing myself and having an overblown reaction just doesn't make sense. It only makes sense in that I am characteristically very protective over how emotionally involved I get... but that's a characteristic I need to work on, not run from.

"Every now and then, the universe steps in, makes an executive decision, and forces us to take a right when we were absolutely sure we'd be taking a left. This is one of those times, and as sensitive as you are, you'll realize it as soon as you open your eyes this morning. So when you end up someplace you weren't supposed to be anywhere near, chatting with someone you feel an immediate affinity toward, you'll get it. You were supposed to meet."