Sullen v.5




Friday, January 13, 2006

I really hate some of my "good" friends as of tonight.. and I don't know what I'm going to do about it. Frankly, I don't even know if they'll give a shit, and honestly, I can't really think of great reasons why I hang out with them when I have many other equally (maybe more?) fun friends. And I really should not make the word plural, because it's only one "GOOD friend" that I am royally pissed with.. and she would probably tell me to get over it... and to that I would probably say fuck you. It might seem like something small, but it's the principle and the pattern.. and I'm fucking done with her irregular times when she feels like being a good friend. I don't know. Do good friends invite you out, only for you to get totally prepared.. only to discover there's no room for you in the car anymore? And then she asks if YOU can drive when she already knows dam well that you're tipsy... and why the hell would someone ask that when they know such a thing? If I invited one of my good/almost-best friends out, there would dam well be space in the car still.. and I wouldn't give up seats if people later asked if they could come in light of already having invited and expecting her. Turns out I left the party I was already at for no dam good reason, took the time to get ready.. was completely expecting to go... was excited to go... only to find out that, oh well, no. It may seem small, but it's just irresponsible and inconsiderate.. and weird how I had a seat and then next minute didn't. like where the hell are her loyalties. obviously not with me, and if that's the way it is.. I'm not one to give give give.. it's gotta be dam close to an equal exchange of consideration... or forget it.. ANY relationship that's how it will be. Anyway. I'm just venting. I thought going out with my other good friend would be a nice way to ease my mind from my anger... and we did go out, he treated me to a lovely time... but I'm still pissed. Vegas plans this weekend? I don't think so. And any other plans with her for a while. I really dislike people who I can't depend on .. trust.. etc. So I'm going to keep my distance for a while, and I hope this can ammend itself with time (I doubt she'll apologize).. because it would be a dam shame to lose a good friend over something like this... which again, is a pattern.. it's just terrible awful planning and sometimes it feels like I'm the last one she's thinking about when it comes to consideration.. and with such a seemingly 'good' friendship, something isn't right about that.