Sullen v.5




Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Ok. So I feel a little better now after taking some time before immediately writing about this. Basically I've been feeling very neauseated and unstable upon my mother informing me this afternoon that she is having mild precancerous cells removed in a surgery this friday. It was presented more of like, "oh you know how I told you about ..... well I'm going in for surgery on friday to have it removed, I just wanted to let you know."...
me: "no I don't EVER remember you telling me about ..... *I* remember you telling me that everything was fine after your examination."

So... I've been having this strange feeling all day like I'm going to throw up after her telling me this. heh. Needless to say I started researching everything, and it only made me more concerned so I had to stop. In some ways I'm happy that I didn't know about this until she had a solution (surgery), but in many ways I am fearful and feeling a little betrayed.

This week is deadweek and I am going to try to focus on the finals ahead of me, but I am still very uneasy with this news and definitely on an emotional rollercoaster.

sigh. There really is nothing I can do but be supportive and optimistic at this time.

.... ..

aside from that, I don't know. Posts are slow because I don't have my laptop and have to do anything involving a computer at work.

... ..

plan is to not immediately go home after finals. I just really don't have a desire to be home *that* long (3+ weeks?) during Christmas break.

I will probably go to Phx for a little while to both visit Cola* and go Christmas shopping. Haven't seen Cola for a while so it will be really nice to catch up... if everything works out in the meeting process. I'm going to miss ppl from school too, for sure. Last night hung out with my fav. DC people.

Kind of funny: my friends and I have started giving each other weekly "relationship homework." For some reason this month seems to be the height of "crush season," and they all want to tell me... with a little prodding. ;P It's so funny because they refuuuuse to say.. I prod just *a little*, and then they just let it spillll because they are dying to tell someone. There's so much frustration.. haha. I do the same, so it's fair. ;) I am *really* trying to live by the advice they give me, haha, but.. yeah.. it's really difficult. Plus, their advice is a little more unrealistic than the advice I give them. "Get him ALONE.." .. yeah right!

haha. anyway. enough with my relationship woes.