Sullen v.5



Oh the heartbreak.

Monday, December 05, 2005

sigh. I really do create my own reality. Either that or I have impeccable intuition. Basically... yeah, sib* is off the market. Whatever.. can't say I didn't completely see it coming. Coincidental circumstances either way, which makes it all that more heart-wrenching.. because it *all* went down as I foresaw it. man. Guess I'm happy for him/her, and I'm sure they'll both be very happy and have a great long relationship as they're both amazing people. I don't know her that well, but she seems really nice.. I've talked with her and she's in one of my classes, and she's good friends with one of my best friends (which is how I'm relayed the DL on the situation). Anyway. Can't say I'm not jealous (yes, double negative), which truly is among some firsts. Sooo.. I don't know.. I'd feel awkward trying to further get to know him. Some things I've been deciding lately.. and among those things is that I just can't be in contact with people when I have unexplainable emotional feelings involved. Some I can have emotional feelings that are EXPLAINABLE, but when they're unexplainable and hitting me over the head every time I come in contact with them... yeah I've decided it's just not healthy. Why beat myself up, seriously.


so I feel stupidly heartbroken at the time. lol. I'll get over it. sigh, probably for the better.. maybe God is telling me to focus on the potentially-attainable.. i.e. numero due interest.. but.. blah.. heartbreak is hard, rejection is harder. . all I can say is that last night's concert was a fabulous, adrenaline-rushing, great time. AHH!

I'm going crazy. Can't wait for Christmas, as long as I steer clear of unexplainable emotional beatings, everything should be super.