Sullen v.5




Monday, November 21, 2005

I seriously forgot how flippin' cold it is in my hometown around this time of the year. I left Malibu in a tanktop and flipflops... blazing hot weather.. could see lots of people at the beaches as I drove outta town...

just arrived home, at night, stepped out of my car.. and felt like I couldn't breathe because it was so cold (and that was with a jacket on). man. brrr!

Good to be home for a little while though.

Mia madre is taking me to see Harry Potter tonight.

The weekend was pretty great. Went on a class retreat to a pretty cool hotel that was located on the bay in Oxnard. We basically just talked for 6+ hours and opened up about our lives and what we thought about each other. It's always interesting to hear what people think about me. I was the last person to get feedback, so I was worried the entire time about what people would/n't say.. and everything turned out fine.. I hate saying it because it makes me feel arrogant, but it's truly surprising how much people look up to me and value who-I-am. Sometimes I feel like these people hardly know me, and I've shared some things that I thought made me look pretty bad in the class.. but at the same time, people see me *going* somewhere in my life when this is a point in time when we're all really feeling anxious/lost with graduation coming up. As much as I'm a little nervous, I'm more excited than anything because I truly feel like something great is waiting out there for me. ANYWAY. It was just really interesting to hear people remember things that I had forgotten I had told them, and hear what conclusions they've made about me as a result of things I have randomly said.

Only a few minutes after getting home from this exhausting retreat and I had to head off to a big Florence-friends get together. It was really nice to see them and I feel like I'm forming some long overdue friendships with some people that I used to feel socially awkward around. Maybe it's a result of this class I'm in ('group therapy' class :P). I'm learning more and more that it's ok to really open up to people, be honest, and to expect to get hurt.. or be pleasantly surprised when they don't. I've always had a hard time feeling that way with some people in the Florence crowd. One guy whom I was *extremely socially awkward* around (I joked with people about it because I could just see how incredibly weird he would think I am due to the most RANDOM things happening at times when only he would be around).. anyway.. he's helping me secure a Jimmy Eat World ticket (they're coming to my school.. yay! 2nd time around seeing them.. and apparently tickets are almost out).. which is really cool 'cause I wouldn't even think of asking him for help since we had a hard time talking to each other... now we're cool (I think?). Thank God because I hated how awkward it always was.

After Florence get-together my friend Mik* called and took me to *the best* hookah spot. Literally everyone in the place looked like they were from India, and almost all of the were male.. so it was a little awkward for me (especially since I've studied in depth the norms for women in those countries, and what the men expect of them). Anyway. it was a good time.

Next morning I woke up, drove home with the worst headache ever.. but made it... I was privileged to hear some incredibly huge information, but I am not permitted to say what it is... yet. Ahhh! ;D