Sullen v.5




Thursday, November 10, 2005

... .. ahh hum. I can't sleep, because it's too early (1:30 am.. lol). I think I will sleep, very shortly, 'cause it's raining and I looooove being in my bed when it's raining. Woke to rain this morning.. so nice.

Dumdedum. nothing to say. . . things on my mind, but nothing I really want to write about. It's funny how everything can be going so smoothly, and if I start to think about the past, things/ppl. from my past start re-appearing.. a tease maybe.. maybe God's way of challenging me.. how will I handle the past in my present. Sometimes I really think that I'm stuck inside something like the matrix.. where I'm just creating my own reality. I think I'm successful, and I am. I think about someone, and they appear. I think that such-and-such might happen, and it does.

heh. anyway. I like to think that the past is the past and I only look forward.. for-warrrd. blah. it doesn't always work that way. ugh I make myself truly angry. Why can't I forgive some ppl.. why can't I stop loving others.. why can't I start to love others differently... sigh. Not to bring crappy astrology into this (I don't know why I'm so against it and yet intrigued by it at the same time), but such is the way of aquarius.. /me... no emotions.. keep those emotions bottled up .. where is it getting me though. I try, that's all I can say.

this is dumb. going to bed.

best song on the radio just came on:

Switchfoot - Dare You to Move

"What happens next? What happens next?"