Sullen v.5



what the..

Saturday, October 08, 2005

and I thought.. if anyone, *I* don't really have baggage. nothing major at least.


man. so I was just going to let this go, think it over, and *maybe* post about it.. but it's just bugging the crap out of me right now. so late.. need to sleep.. this is what I get for sleeping-in-forever now (no homework for a while.. so nice..) .. except whenever I sleep in I wake to weird nightmares.. which lately have been about almost dying/losing my family. heh. weird yeah. This last dream, before I woke, I jumped off a horse that was attempting to jump across a *raging* stream.. my parents jumped in after.. but of course couldn't find me.. and I remember thinking in my dream how sad it was because I was too young to die.. and that I wanted to see my parents before I went.. but no, this whatever our last days were together.. that was going to be it.. *shudders* just thinking about it makes me feel weird. heh. maybe to-be-recorded better in my dream journal.. that and the other story where I lost my family.

On that psycho note. ha. yeah. this, unfortunately, is a reality that I still managed to be separate from today:

(mother called me up and told me about this)

"Stalker boy".. I didn't come up with this name, my family did when I was in hs.. and I just adopted it because whatever.. I can't think of anything else. A guy I knew in hs, who basically would -not- get a hint. I still tried to be nice despite my no interest. Anyway. He ended up recently becoming engaged to another girl I knew in hs.. who happened to play flute with me when I was in hs.
Anyway. He shows up where my mom works with his still-fiance and, of course, she had a baby. My mom works with infants.. so. yeah.
She didn't bring me up, because he didn't .. and obviously why should she.
His mom is there .. she pulls my mom outside of the room to ask my mom why she looks familiar.. my mom explains how we went to hs or whatever together.
My mom goes back in to help him/her, *then* he brings me up and starts asking all sorts of questions.
His finance becomes extremely upset and storms out of the room?
He comes back in after running after to comfort her.. he comes back and starts whispering to my mom how she "really shouldn't bring up [me] again because [his fiance] is really upset"
My mom's apparently thinking like, "ok what the heck?? I didn't even bring her up to begin with!"
Suddenly the whole place is all up in turmoil.. she's upset and wants to leave.. HIS mom is like.. "just leave you guys! I'll take care of the bill!" ...
His mom comes back in and asks my mom if she can pray for them with her.. . .. .. . ????


So my mom was SO LOST.. and I don't blame her. Weirdness. Weve ird weird. My mom says she has a suspicion that he told her somethign FALSE in the past that we (him and I) were something "more" than we ever were.. and that's what made her upset. But who the heck knows.

All I know is that I'm sorry my mother had to go through that fiasco. And SO glad I am no longer in contact with him. I hope it always stays that way. bleh! Really.. it sounds terrible.. but I am sorry.. I just think the whole thing was ridiculous, and sorry my poor mom had to deal with such an emotionally unstable situation in so many dimensions. heh.