Sullen v.5



Ice Blocking... and ... random.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Tonight was a-ma-zing! So my presence was demanded for this DC get-together thing, despite my previous plans -> (I will get to this lastly..). . I wanted to know what they were planning because I obviously had plans, but despite my efforts.. no info. would be given.. and I was only told that I "had to come -- no excuses."

I cancelled my previous plans, despite my serious reluctance. Eh..

Soo.. arrive at this place.. friends are already there, dinner is cooked and ready to serve (nice, salmon.. yummm) .. I ask what the heck they have planned?? "Block ice and beer!" ... haha. so uh. yeah. I'm all about the extreme sports and whatnot, but this block ice idea made me nervous. The plan was to relax/make smores/drink afterwards, so I wasn't so worried about that.. but this block ice thing... I had heard of it before... basically buy huge blocks of ice at the store and ride them down hills. So despite my hesitation/insisting that I wasn't going to do it... they got me out there riding these frickin' blocks of ice down the beautiful green hills of Pepp* at nighttime. It was a beautiful time not only because I was with some of my greatest/fun friends, but because we were overlooking the ocean while a lightning storm could be seen in the distance.

So needless to say, riding these ice blocks as best we could down the grassy hills was greeeat fun. We would wipe out a lot, so uh, yeah.. major irritation from rolling around the grass.. and basically a tackling match at the end (ah brings back insane pillow fight memories). haha... we are so childish sometimes, but I think it's just 'cause we all let loose and have funnn.

Someone came up with the brilliant idea to go get a wooden cart with wheels that was stored up in their apartment (apparently it was received by one of my friends when a reality television show was being filmed on our campus during the summer and they were using these contraptions for contests). So .. haha.. they bring back this massive cart thing.. before ya know it there's three of us trying to ride it down this hill at once... it was soooo much fun .... until we busted the back wheel off.. then the fun was over and it was off to makes smores. and have chicken 'n beer.. lol.. yes we all felt like rednecks.

anyway. It was a great night. I feel *terrible* for cancelling my original plans, especially because the person already considers me "flakey".. heh.. which I don't think is really nice, and maybe that's why I just fulfill his prophecy. . the whole ordeal makes me think of that new song: 21st Century Modern Lover. .. .. but ... I don't know.. my roommate said she thinks he treats me like his g/f sometimes.. and I kinda feel that's the case too... I definitely love being friends.. but not interested in the commitment thing at all.. and I don't like it when someone is trying to "book" time with me in advance. I realize both of our schedules are really different so it's hard to hang out a lot, but trying to book hang-out time with me a week in advance is a disastor waiting to happen. wow I'm a bitch. heh. that was bitchy. This is all just a big facade too for a lot of underlying issues.. so I don't know why I bother typing this at all... .. if it hasn't become perfectly clear yet, I destroy relationships that begin to suggest something beyond friends (only when there's no escaping-moving, traveling,etc-the consequences of becoming involved in a deeper relationship)..... .. which is why I probably need to see a psychologist or something.. even though I hate talking to them because I'm arrogant and feel like I already know what they're thinking/going to say..the methods they use..what they're trying to get at. It's like this -- we learn in testing & assessment how to make tests so that the testee doesn't realize what the test is about.. thereby making the test invalid. If I know what the psychologist is trying to get at.. my answers to questions may subconsciously reflect that.. thereby making the session pointless. Career counselors.. psychologists.. they're just good for venting, in my case. I've literally thought of every angle I can look at things.... I don't know.. if they didn't have to drag out the process so long I might let them take a stab at making some sense out of my issues. . . . anyway. since it's free here now, maybe I'll go.. plus.. I really do think it's something healthy that everyone should do. ahhhh ......... sigh.. what a crazy girl I am .. I am just going on-and-on with random thoughts!*shakes head* out.