Sullen v.5




Saturday, September 17, 2005

Let me take a moment to explain, in my perspective, why guys are dumb because you can't depend on them to not let you down in some major ways:

1 - When you're practically a best friend - when you know several things I would never tell other people, and when we've established a unique relationship.. boardering on a seemingly bf/gf situatiaon.. when people allude that to be your relationship.. and when we hang out and have a great time, and then I *suddenly* don't hear from you for 2 months when you know I'm in town (granted we were both busy and maybe I should have called too).... *don't* call me up *2 months later* and tell me about some special party you're going to.. how you need someone to style your hair... how the person you were counting on backed out at the last minute to help you.. and how you want *my* help (basically as a last resort, and oh btw I wasn't invited).. are you crazy??? Why the hell would you call up ME?.. the person you used to be pretty darn close to but for some reason haven't called to say hello w/in the past two months... and not even really be interested in catching up, but only seemingly interested in having me assist you with styling your hair so that you can get off to your fabulous party in style? Yeah I don't think so. Of all people, I would think you should know I demand more respect than that. ..I was happy to easily close that chapter of my life with that one phone call. amazing how that works.

2 - Don't tell me, even jokingly(?)/affectionately say to my face several times "I love you".. and in any sort of way tell me how I am regarded as a "favorite".. or give me reason to believe there is interest by, oh.. hugging/neck-massages and general flirtiness... and then go blatantly hook up with a girl/friend of mine when we're all hanging out with our group of friends. Ok.. so there may have been previous "history" between you two -- I am aware -- but way to blow *any* chance you have with me now. seriously. I don't mind whatever guys want to do.. but I'm offended when they try to get me in the mix of their player-ways if I am a good friend of theirs. There's random guys, where players are expected.. and then there are friends, where a more thoughtful approach is expected..two different situations. It's just a shame because I was starting to warm up to the idea of 'more than friends', and he is truly the first person I took interest in among a group of good guys friends (never expected a mutual interest to occur.. although I am pretty sure he is only *very slightly* aware of my interest).. but nah.

Random vent due to number 2 occurring recently, and number 1 is just too incredible to forget due to who the person was.

And yeah, so I'm bitter and blame my 'issues' with trust on how undependable guys are with taking practical care of my feelings. The only thing they obviously take into account the most is their own self-interest. . . and while I am also like that in rare certain cases. . . I do my dam best to take into consideration how my actions/feelings/words..etc..will affect other people.

This is all. goodnight.