Sullen v.5



This Past *Year*

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Ok -- so I'm over the past two posts and getting on with life already. No more of that insecure crap.

I got my act together today (haha, 'act', nice) and went in to work. There I discovered two of my favorite co-workers laughing and catching up on some of the events we've experienced over the summer with our cre*'s. There I received two lovely and warm greetings, claiming that I'm "so tan!" (even though I decided to wear pants and a v-neck blouse cropped at my elbows?). Haha. I showed them my many tan-lines, and told stories of my bungalow experiences and family-related stories.

Looking back on this summer, it really has been a fantastic time filled with many unpredictable events.

In Costa Rica I had a *lot* of time for reflection. Because I was travelling with family, it really wasn't about what *I* wanted to do, and mainly about going along with whatever was planned. Some of the highlights included surfing and swimming in the warm ocean, a family brunch at my uncle's cabin on the side of a volcano where we celebrated my grandparent's 50th anniversary, and a 6-hr. day of horseback riding at another volcanic site where we saw natural hotsprings, a beautiful waterfall, forded many large rivers, went down steep cliffs with wet and deep mud, and I spotted monkeys swinging in a tree where I pointed out a mother with a baby on its back. It was funny because we were walking down to the waterfall when I thought, "this would be a good place for monkeys to swing," then I heard tree branches cracking, looked around.. and there they were... and they were just as curious in us as we were in them.
When the day ended, usually around 8 pm (after dinner), I really didn't know what to do with myself. We played cards *a LOT* with our cousins, and had good talks, but I still had a lot of time to do nothing but think in my bed when the day had ended.

Thinking back about this summer, and overall year, I see the time as having really molded me more in maturity and discovery. I say 'discovery' very generally because it *has* been very broad, but in important things: relationships, career, fiscal standing, spiritual. . .etc.

I can start "this year" primarily at the beginning of my stay in Washington DC (Jan). I prayed about it and felt *very strongly* that I was being told to go, and I vowed to go with a good attitude. I had no internship the day I arrived in Washington DC (due to the sporatic nature of me signing up for the program at the last minute), and fortunately by the end of the day that I first arrived, I had myself a paid internship with the Society for Neuroscience when I would have *gladly* taken the position without pay. The location was absolutely *perfect* for my interests at the time: neuroscience. I managed to seal contracts before I left that ensured the internship would count as both an important GE requirement needed that would *also* count as 4 credits toward my psy. degree. I also planned to take two courses (two being the maximum) at another univ. in DC that would allow me to get credit for a required course (Research Methods) for my psyc. degree that is seemingly *impossible* to sign-up for at Pepp. as it is filled by seniors before juniors have a shot at it. The crazy thing is, you *cannot* do research without having taken research methods... so... I *know* that I *must* do research if I want to get into a good grad. school (whether or not I plan to go, I want to leave opportunity open).. and if I did not get Research Methods in THAT semester.. I would be out of luck when it came to talking with professors for an opportunity my senior year. Fortunately I DID get research methods at the DC univ. (and fortunately it was probably easier than Pepp's class, which I hear is brutal): passed with 108% :P .. and was fortunate enough to take a class that *really* interested me (Psychology of Brain Injury) that I managed to get a contract with Pepp* and allow it to count for my physio. requirement. Psych. of Brain Injury *was* brutal.. very difficult and scary exams.. but I ended up passing with 98%.

ALL of that merely a synopsis of how perfect this year began academically (while also receiving a needed GE requirement through a Pepp* course taught in DC). I set myself up perfectly to graduate on time by going to DC when most students do NOT go to DC because they think it will set them back on credits for graduation. Academically everything went smoothly and has put me in a nice position to take the necessary elective psy. units I still need (and one necessary requirement), I am now in the beginning stages of talking with a professor who is going to try to get me into a lab for research this upcoming semester (although all of the labs are full, the fact that I worked at the Society for Neuroscience: a huge name in the field of his/my interests, gives me some pull). Not only were things nice academically, but I had one of the *best* semesters yet with a good group of friends.. had a blast.. turned 21 in DC, and the night life was fantastic.
Thinking back on the whole thing that began with Da* at the beginning of my time in DC was less than pleasant, but something I really learned a lot from. I realized in Costa Rica that while it really was kind of sad/appropriate how things came to a halting screech between us, I might have never made the types of bonds that I did with everyone else had it not happened. I still hope things can be ok between us as friends, but the whole ordeal was wrong from the get-go.. he was flirting when he shouldn't have been, and both of us cheating each other emotionally. I abandoned anything to do with him for a while, and quickly re-joined the group of friends I had neglected slightly while more of my time was being spent with Da* previously.. and unfortunately for Da*, left him hanging without anyone except his 'best friend' who I knew he was having some trouble with also (and caused problems between us because I could not stand his best friend, and vice versa).. and I would go as far to say that it was his best friend that ruined our friendship during that time, but at the same time, I can't let Da* be unaccountable for what happened. I hate to say it, but looking back on it my intentions were to leave Da* stranded without anyone out of my anger (kind of like an "I was really your best friend here - how could you do that to me?" type of anger)... and I dare say his intentions were also sabotage after that. We both would slightly make an effort to ammend things as the semester went on, but it was just too different: no more phone calls to wake each other up in the morning, no more 'hanging out', no more 'study sessions', no more sleep overs (and I say that in the 'friendly' sense.. nothing further), fighting in front of our other friends when we all went out. .. fortunately for my sake, I rebounded fairly well despite my doubts. I was deeply hurt and wasn't sure how I would get through... but I found people quickly who were gracious enough to take me in as their friend and really made me feel back at home. I say gracious because they all knew I kind of just 'suddenly appeared' one day to start *really* hanging out with them once things went sour with Da*.. and that's not very cool. But again, each one of them took me under their wing like a little sister (I say this mostly with my guy-friends in mind), and it really was very comforting and fun throughout the rest of the year. My good friend Aar* also happened to be in the DC area at the time (who plans to attend Pepp* law school this upcoming year), and I look forward to catching up with him. We had some fun outtings and time hanging out.. before I left DC he invited me out on a date-date which was sweet (but confusing, haha).. that was interesting.
I ended up starting my summer off in DC... staying an extended month with an aunt while all of my friends went home. A few weeks later all of my other friends from Pepp* (several who went to Italy with me) ended up coming out to DC for the summer program and I had a great time hanging out with them when I could. My good friends Cait*, Pa*, and Sa* were all living together so I frequently bummed at their place.. Cait turned 21 and we had a *fantastic* time ... which upon I met Davi :P .. which upon we hung out several good-times later, but this was so close to the time I was due to leave DC that it was short-lived... I changed my departure ticket to leave 3 days later than planned to include memorial weekend in DC to attend a get-together at a friend's cabin (lots of fun).... thereafter departed.. .. arrived home to find a *fantastic* job waiting for me (applied while in DC and was accepted for the position after a phone interview) ... had a wonderful summer in which I earned a good amount of money and *great* skills as a supervisor.. Michelle came to visit whom I haven't seen for so many years now... worked with people my age which was a lot of fun at evening get togethers (and the older people were a blast too).. also worked with 6 teenagers which was stressful, fun, and definitely a rewarding learning experience, met a co-worker where there was immediate chemistry from the day I walked into the door for orientation and only time until the inevitable.. I came back down to earth and realized "what the hell was I thinking??".. cut that off. Aar* told me near the end of my stay in DC that I should "go have a summer fling".. in which I laughed and thought that was totally unlike me, but I guess the unlikely happens sometimes. Went to Costa Rica. Reflected. And here I am.

Tomorrow is my last day of "work": debrief time in which the cre* supervisors are mainly honored (?), games are played (?), a very nice lunch planned at a poshy place... and later plans to all go out with our supervisor which will be *so* fun because we mainly fear her the entire summer while we're working (although she's cool), and it will be nice to just unwind and not have to worry about anything anymore.

So anyway. Crazy how I can look back upon things this year and just pinpoint how everything went. Italy was such a blur, I could *never* do what I did in this post with that overall year. Italy was just non-stop random random random. This year things have just flowed so-far. Everything fitting into place and falling out of place when appropriate I suppose.

And... that's a wrap.