Sullen v.5



there are no right words.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

shit. I've tried so long to resist posting right now.. I just don't want to in the state I'm feeling right now... which is a good mixture of confusion and panic. So I wonder.. if a relationship is right... one shouldn't be panicking, yes? yes. no. maybe so. haha. *rubs eyes.. not humored anymore.. looks at the sky* .. man I really wish it would rain. . so I could sleep forever and forever right now.

"I can't bring myself to say it -
it's my own advice I need"
Jimmy Eat World - Ten

"Don't shove your feelings to the back of the closet today. After all, they're not going anywhere and refusing to deal with them right now is only going to make them come back stronger."

Sometimes I feel like my stupidly accurate horoscope taunts me.. sure I have my good friends who can give me advice... but sometimes my horoscope just says it best as a personal advisor: don't try to run from this.. you've created it, now deal with it. But I really really really really don't want to deal right now. really.

"I walk across the rocky ground
I hear the stars with timing sound
here there is no atmosphere
you are not here
you are not here
somewhere above with fears of heights

without you
I'm lost on the moon

how I dream of sweet return
to fall so fast and feel the burn
and petty? flys and grass band plains
and small parades

without you
I'm lost on the moon
without you
I'm lost on the moon"

new Duncan Sheik song received from membership at his site.. beautiful beautiful song.
"Lost On The Moon"

Yes thunder!! Mmm and the smell of rain. Ah love it.

Jamming out to music.. haha, funnny, just thinking now why I took the time to setup my external harddrive to blast my music on headphones, and I realize I'm attempting to block out thoughts but it's not working. But at least it gives me more focused thinking..

some good (and a few new) songs to me:

Yes this is going to be an excessively long post as a result of this turning into a music post.. and I should probably turn off my computer, but.. we'll see..

"here a little sympathy
to waste on me
I know you're faking it but that's ok
I don't want to drag it out
don't want to bring you down
never wanted it to end this way
even if I wanted to
I don't think I'd get to you
there's nothing I can say to you
to make you feel alive again

a little jealousy
I hope you think of me
hope you wonder where I sleep at night
cause I feel like I'm inside out
you got me upside down
maybe I was holding on too tight

the two of us we dream like one
the two of us take breath like one"
Yellowcard - Inside Out

Wow this thunder is truly awesome.. I wish I could take video of it and put it on my journal, haha.. seriously..

and the music I'm listening to right now goes along *perfectly* with the strong pattering of rain, cool breeze, and thunder background:

Telepopmusik - Breathe
"Another day... just believe.. just breathe..."

This, right now, is truly my haven of escape. Thank you God. Seriously, thank you. Wow.. and with that monstrous bolt.. I'm outta here.