Sullen v.5



the worries of socialite days.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

man. sometimes I get *so* nervous before going out. I guess it depends on the people. Jo* is driving up from Phx right now and the plan is definitely to go -out- tonight, except her plan is to get trashed (she just turned 21 and hasn't been in the local bars yet..) while mine is more about being able to make it to work by 9 in the morning. And it freaks me out more that while I've *met* her guy-friends several times (people from hs), who plan to go out with us, I don't *really* know them and they don't really know *me*.. and what they do know of me, if anything, is "valedictorian".. and what I do know of them, if anything, is party-crazy-boys. But I *do* want to go out (esp. a place I haven't been before).. and I can adjust to any group usually, and have a good time. When I *have* hung out with them before in the past they were all pretty "nice"/respectable.. but yeah.. still some crowds make me more nervous than others... for sure.
It's also a factor of how well I can hold myself accountable.. I'm really good about it, but.. yeah I don't know.
Man.. maybe I'll back out.. though Jo wouldn't be too happy, even if she did respect the fact that I have no intention on getting trashed tonight. blah I'm just nervous for some reason....
my voice hurts so bad from talking tonight.. I swear I've been on the phone since getting back home from work! Craaaziness. It's about that time of the month I guess when everyone decides to call. Tonight: Aar, Cait, Cola, Tin, Jo.. all great long fun talks.. but man... my vooooice. Cola coming up tomorrow night.. I have to work late tomorrow, but I'm super excited to hang out afterwards. Girls night out tomorrow! :) Actually, she plans on inviting Jim* and Bren*, so maybe not.. and they're definitely cool with me if she does. Man it's seriously nice to have my girl friends back for a little while to hang out with..
... ok.. I'm out... just anticipating tonight.. kinda nervous and I don't know what to do with myself. Fortunately I didn't go out last night because the guy at work who said he *wouldn't* go to the place we were planning to go (because he "doesn't go out in the middle of the week"), *did* end up going while I and the other girl I work with both didn't go! Haha.. it was funny because he arrived at work in pretty bad shape and said, "hey you guys weren't there.." ... psh! Like heck he doesn't go out in the middle of the week! After today's "sexual harassment" 2-hr. lecture though, I think it WISE to stay away from hanging out @ bars.. they're probably good rules.. and they definitely made me quickly eliminate any co-worker "hanging out" ideas, even if it's not on office time or just friendly... he reminds me *a looot* of Ch* and that's not good for a million reasons. Maybe only 5 reasons, but enough for me to stay the heck away.

seriously I worry too much. anyway. I'd just rather be safe about things.. I've got a long life to live man!

And thank you GOOOOOD for everything being OK with my mother!! Thank you thank you thank you.