Sullen v.5



Passing Thoughts

Friday, June 03, 2005

So today is absolutely beautiful! Man... it's days like this that make me *really* appreciate how happy I am to be alive.. seriously. I looove driving over the hill to see a pack of deer feeding in the park area.. and I looove driving over the hill to the view of a vast mountain range with the sun hitting it just right.. and I loove the perfect weather.. and I looove the little quirks of my town.. and I looove that this is *my* town.. the place *I* know best (with other locals).. the place where I know different places I can escape to and enjoy the passing time.
As I was taking care of errands today I also thought about how great it is to be growing up, in some respects. How great it feels to manage my own finances.. to have the power and experience of communication.. to know the right questions to ask.. I don't know.. it's just something that makes me feel really good about growing up, as stupid as something that small may be. To know how to get money easily credited back to me by asking the right questions.. to get out of an accidental overdraft through manipulations (although not manipulated in a devious way - done through very legitimate reasoning). To have the capacity to get a job without any assistance. It was also nice to finally go into several of the local bars I have been familiar with (this being my hometown), but have never seen the *inside* of because I wasn't 21 yet. Derek took me around to *lots* of places last night and it really was a good time despite the bars being kind of empty due to it being Thursday night.. maybe if we go back tonight things will be more happenin'. Hehe, I'm trying to have as much fun as I can *now* since work will be starting soon and I'm not sure how much 'free time' I'll have (but work actually sounds pretty flexible w/ hrs). Anyway. Oh! Random.. Da* called last night too. He called *so* late, which was pretty surprising.. which makes me think he *may* have been drinking at the time (except he didn't sound like it, but then again, I think I sounded pretty 'normal' too after 4-5 drinks/shot). At any rate, it was nice that he called since the last time I "communicated" TO him (he didn't really write back since I signed off right away :P) was in a furious IM.. because, to be honest, I had been drinking and Ada* convinced me to message him... except... I always regretted it afterwards because I was acting off little information, pressure from another friend who didn't like him, and a lot of anger.. and as much as he did things to piss me off and really compromised any trust I can have w/ guys, there *was* a good friendship between us and sometimes I can get crazy-mad over weird things that other people normally wouldn't (although this isn't to say I'm OK with the things that angered me.. just that I can be more flexible with seeing it as a 'mistake', and I understand even my closest friends will sometimes do things I don't approve of). So anyway.. it's good to feel better about things just by him making a small effort to call.. I really didn't want to go back to Pepp* and have to see him and wonder if we were 'ok' or not.
I'm off to enjoy this glorrrious day. My spirits have really picked up and I'm happy to be home. .. haha.. still having car issues (it died on me again after the day went by.. it seems like my battery only lasts during the day), but my mother is wonderful and totally on top of helping me get the whole ordeal fixed. And I'm out!