Sullen v.5



Dream Dream Dream

Saturday, June 18, 2005

I was looking back on some long-lost-online-journals of mine... funny to read different life-phases of typing (?). Anyway. I came across a dream journal, with about 4 entries?.. and man... some heavy stuff!! Two entirely terrifying dreams (I don't remember dreaming them, but even the way I wrote about them *still* seems like they were terrifying at the time) and two *deeply* emotional ones.. haha.

For my first entry I wrote:
"M. Scott Peck writes in his book, The Road Less Traveled that 'If you work long enough and hard enough to understand yourself, you will come to discover that this vast part of your mind, of which you now have little awareness, contains riches beyond imagination.'

I believe this statement to be, what-seem-obvious, very accurate to me, and I believe revealing a part of what I yearn to understand may be through my dreams.

He also writes, 'In my experience, dreams that can be interpreted invariably provide helpful information to the dreamer. This assistance comes in a variety of forms: as warnings of personal pitfalls; as guides to the solution of problems we have been unable to solve; as proper indication that we are wrong when we think we are right, and as correct encouragement that we are right when we think we are probably wrong; as sources of necessary information about ourselves that we are lacking; as direction-finders when we feel lost; and as pointers to the way we need to go when we are floundering.'

Because I wish to study his 'theory' with more precision regarding myself, I have decided to start recording the dreams which feel dramatic/meaningful/emotional to me . . basically the ones that feel important when I wake up . . and possibly some of the others which seem too-random to be overlooked. If the dream is too blurry to understand anything really of what was going on. . then I probably won't bother recording it. If it's truly important, I figure it will turn up in another dreams sometime. :)"

That was a long time ago, and I let the journal go by the wayside, but now.. I think I might start writing in it again.. heh.. because I *rearely* dream, and it seems that the times I *do*.. that they are very significant/symbolical in some respect.

Ok... so here was one of the freaky-nightmare-entries:

"Some sort of conspiracy.. or something.. it was so clear at the time.. dam.. I was running... someone was stealing stuff out of a pond at night?.. something that belonged to me.... he would only come when it began to rain... and I would always rush to the lake the minute it started to rain, but would always miss who it was somehow.... Finally, one night it started to rain, I hopped in my car and chased down to the pond.. there he was.. a black shadow.. I chased after him.. lost him in a tunnel.. somehow ended up in this building.. looking for him.. and I had a camera with me to take his picture in the case that I found him so that I could point out who he was to the police... ..

I'm searching.. searching... taking pictures of random people who look suspicious to me.. I'm in a panick.. suddenly I run into a room and I see this awkward guy/statue sitting on the top of a cabinet, holding a teddy bear...

he's sitting indian style on the cabinet holding the bear in the middle of his lap... with his eyes staring straight forward.. I'm quiet.... look up.. and take his picture...

at that moment, his stare looks down toward me... evil.. emotionless... he slowly starts to climb down from the cabinet... walking toward me.. I'm running away.. but somehow he manages to continue to be there right behind me.. walking slowly.. gaining on me quickly... I scream out (literally, from out of my sleep) ... HELP!! ..... .. and I wake up."