Sullen v.5



Not so simple.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Every day at work I must take an hour to relieve the receptionist of her duties and answer calls (partially the reason why I am looking forward to my time being done here soon), and today a guy who works in my department walked by and sighed, "one and a half more weeks.." .. I only recently discovered him and 5 other full-time employees are quitting this month. I responded, "Really?.. that's when I'm done too." Apparently he's going back to finish his PhD, while I'm going back to finish my undergrad.

Not much else is new. Oh.. funny because I stumbled upon this book: "He's Just Not That Into You: Your Daily Wakeup Call" while perusing the $10 and under gifts.
Synposis: "He's Just Not That Into You -- based on a popular episode of Sex and the City -- educates otherwise smart women on how to tell when a guy just doesn't like them enough..."
.. I kind of feel like I couldn't have found this book at a better time, given the recent turn in events. I like to think men are complicated when it comes to dating.. haha.. especially with the insight of blog postings from a known blog-reader of mine (which makes me conversely wonder if he ever reads *my* postings and thinks, "women are so complicated when it comes to dating.." :P), but this book makes the argument that guys are actually really simple when it comes to them being 'into you'. By principle I've always followed the rule that "if he's into me.. he'll call..," and this book made it pretty dam clear that that's a good principle to follow. I can't lie though, I've entertained so many thoughts as to why I haven't heard from him (many that the book pointed out as common fallacies to believe).. "Maybe he thinks I'm too young for him.." "Maybe he thinks I think he's too old.." (he was reluctant to give up his age, although my guess was only off by 1 yr. when he asked what I thought..) "Maybe I (or he thinks he) came on too strongly??".."Maybe I gave him mixed messages.." ..."Maybe he thinks if he tries to invite me out again I'll try to bring a friend.." (which definitely ended up being more of a detriment whenever we'd try to get away to talk alone, and I'm sure it was a detriment to his wallet since yeah.. being a gentleman, he bought my friend drinks also, which was really nice of him since I would have felt bad for inviting her and she having to buy her own drinks when I wasn't.. I hadn't thought about that.. or thought there would be more people and the paying factor wouldn't be an issue), "maybe he's a player?" (lol, it's a funny thought for some reason, but considering how charming/cute he is.. I don't think it unreasonable at all)
.. or, the most obvious reason that *I* might not pursue something if I were him: I'm leaving in a week and a half. ;x

The last point being the most important to focus on I think.
Heh. It makes things easier for me because the more I get to know him the more I like him (incredibly considerate, entertaining/somewhat extroverted, funny, modest, intelligent-- in the process of getting several patents approved!.. his best friend is also in Neurosci. (shows he picks good friends ;D).. in a band.. very good on piano/drums/guitar.. similar tastes in music - esp. Sarah McLachlan.. haha.. he asked if I liked to play "Chopin", and I do, but I thought it to be a bit tough chord-wise, and he "could recommend some pieces with nice runs".. which is what I like, also flowing/romantic pieces with a pretty lower bass accompanying key .. we're both more into improv. now with piano.. and he gave some awesome recommendations for how I can approach it lyric-wise.. something I've had difficulty with, but coming along the more I experiment with it.

So yeah.. it just saves me any future heart-ache if we don't see each other again..
but it's still the greatest perplexity.. why he hasn't called since that last outting when I thought we seriously hit it off really well.. I mean.. there are just too many things that we have in common that a person won't randomly find in a person (maybe that's where things are wrong?).. heh.. and so much chemistry that for once my mind wasn't doing all the thinking.

anyway. I'm just going to forget about it. The book has the best suggestion yet, because if he were into me, "At least you deserve a fucking phone call." (excuse the harshness, but yeah.. just quoting the facts).

I really make too much drama in my life. I'm going to start living the simple life and swear off dating.. haha...

and personally I think it's a little weird to be typing/obsessing? about someone when they don't know I am..haha.. gosh. so yeah. For the sake of him potentially finding this and whatever.. I'll be long-gone anyway.. but still.. it's just weird.

this is it. basta.