Sullen v.5



As much as I complain..

Thursday, October 28, 2004

As much as I complain about things, and as much as I worry about what I have upcoming, let's just put it all on the table and say things are, for the most part, pretty awesome. And when I say 'awesome,' I say it with the word's definition in mind.

I write this because.. I really do focus too much on the negative in this journal. Really things aren't a sob story, and so-far, my hard work is relatively paying off, and I'm still managing to really balance the time between the amount I work and the amount I keep in touch with 'reality' (i.e. the relationships around me).

Today really put that into perspective for me. I'm completely exausted, but I love looking back at the end of the day and understanding why I'm exausted, and having reasons aside from work. It's also such a relief once you can put an exam behind you, no-matter how you felt about the difficulty of the exam. I love taking that pen and crossing off one more thing off of this massive list of to-dos, even if it is only barely making a dent at the top of the list.

Anyway. Bottom-line: I loved today and I love the people in my life and I love meeting other really cool people (that's a lot of love! haha). Seriously though, occasionally I just have *over the top awesome days* and today was definitely one of them. Basically, when I'm at my best: Goofy - completely open to meeting new people -getting a lot done (productively) - good conversation with old friends - interesting things to learn about in class - getting past one more thing I was worrying about (and feeling relatively positive about performance) - receiving positive feedback on past 'hurdles' (completely-monumental-awesome exam scores coming in for psych. lately) . .

I have *so* much to do still, but with a lot of things going/feeling right at the moment, it just helps me look forward to it all.. like a 'bring it on'-feeling (even though I have *a lot* to work on/understand before it's brought on, haha) . . next week really may be unforgiving as to what is being dished onto my back as far as workload/expectations go, and the following week isn't going to be any easier, but it just really feels good to know what I have done thus far is paying off with huge scores.

I had a lot of amazing/passionate conversations with people today. I somehow managed to see so many of my good friends today and spend quality time with them, even if it was only for a little while, it was good-quality-time. That really matters to me, the type of time I spend with people. Gra*, Mik*, Mel*, Chri*, Cait*, Ren*, Jef*, Mik2*, Al*(good or otherwise becoming-good friends) .. I also managed to go to an event that this guy/acquaintance practically tripped me over in his effort to promote to me, but it sounded interesting and I went by myself because most of my friends were stuck in their books at the time (or outside of Malibu) .. and I ended up meeting several different people a lot better who are in this 'political club' I've recently joined (but am not so good at attending regularly). And later tonight I randomly bumped into a pretty good friend who gave me a much-needed-ride back to my place, and we ended up hanging out and having a great heart-to-heart conversation, and her other friends ended up coming over too (who I am vague-acquaintances with) and we got to know each other *so* much better on a personal-identification-level (in which we're really similar in our outlooks).. which was definitely cool. :) And on a side-note, Tin* is visiting next week! Considering the Mexico trip that is being planned.. but that's a rough decision considering the other major exams I have following that week.

So. Yeah. I'm wiped out, but definitely happy.