Sullen v.5



Already Feeling Sorry for Myself
(lol, yeah let's just be honest)

Sunday, October 24, 2004

haha. oh my. *laughs with a little sigh* .. this is not to sound condescending/insulting at-all, but I'm going to leave out naming just in-case 'they' get pissed at my comparison here (but I honestly don't think they will) . . .

Suffice to say this post is a result of a little web browsing (procrastinating big time) .. but before doing this 'web browsing' I was just looking at the schedule I have ahead of me (I decided to get the last half of "important due dates" on paper).. and thought to myself, "If I cry about how sad life is in about a week (when hell is due to officially take place for the rest of the semester: 2-3 weeks), then I'm going to be really pissed off at myself."

.. because, technically, I really didn't do *anything* this week or the past. I did 'minor' things that were due, but not nearly what I need to be doing during this time to make the rest of my semester less-hellish starting a week from now.

Anyway. .. so this is where the web browsing comes in..

I found myself getting a little perturbed by the fact that someone was, in a sense, complaining about one paper to be written. lol. And again, this is not to sound condescending at-all.. like "oh-my-g*d-I-have-it-so-much-harder!".. because, I realize one's tolerance/difficulties/dilemmas, etc. are not nearly the same as another person's (saying that, overall, I don't feel people can really ever compare against each other when it comes to what they're going through .. because each person really is unique) .. lol, so really, I think a lot of my feelings amount to jealousy.. but hey, in a lot of ways I do bring my own personal hell upon myself (and realizing hell is a pretty hefty word, to me, as far as this world goes, intense stress = hell .. but rewarding if I get past it, otherwise why would I do this to myself right?).

But hey, if it makes you feel better (person who has one paper due) .. *chuckles* well I have 12 research/laboratory papers (on top of 12 extremely major exams - 5 being cummulative finals that will occur within 3 days of each other.. and any one of those 'papers' due.. well.. anyway.. enough rambling, but they're huge). Oh... and none of the above includes several formal methods/compsci assignments due every other day, which seems to take an incredible amount of time.. and oral presentations............

All this said in 'love' (you know what I mean :P). Any of my 'ranting' here (if it's taken that way), is just because I'm jealous. I'm really more amused (again, not saying I'm 'amused' as a result of you only having one paper, but more by my own workload.. maybe masochism amuses me *being cynical*) than jealous/upset, if anything at all. But now, I wonder, seeing as-how I'm being all-cynical, maybe I am just really pissed off. lol.