Sullen v.5

             

      

 
Not Titled

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

(typed earlier.. don't really want to post it anymore, but whatever, here it is.. I think somehow it didn't get published)

falling
into the ravine
grasping at the air
but it’s not there
to catch me

yelling
through a valley
making echoes
with the clouds
but nothing seen
beyond the shadow

it’s over and
under
and no where in between

it’s silent
yet throbbing
this serenity
----

uuh, yeah. psychoanlyze that. haha. I said I wasn't going to post for a while - I lied. Not sure where that poem came from just now, but wrote it in about a minute, and somewhat reflective of how I'm feeling (my hunch tells me it's coming from somewhere tied into a lack of sleep). lol.. let's just be honest, sometimes I just think flatout I'm weird. Or maybe it's not so-much weird as I feel like I somehow understand things from a completely different perspective than the majority of people. That's not to say my understanding/processing may be any *better*, but more abstract somehow. I guess it's kind of always been made evident through 'things' in life, moreso by the type of people I can relate well with in conversation and how they talk, but... I guess -lately- it feels more apparent through the small things. i.e. When a teacher is showing us an example of a 'testing' technique where there is a dark ink blot on a white piece of paper and asks us what we see, everyone started rambling off what they thought... then I said my perspective... ("Looks like two pigs walking forward (3-D looking) with their shadows on the ground").. and suddenly everyone else saw it after a few seconds and was like.. "WOAH.. you're right!" .. and other things like propositional calculus proofs seeming a lot easier to me compared to boolean expressions (where boolean expressions are simply analyzing a statement like: the cat and the hat .. in mathematical terms: cat ^ hat.) One interesting difference between the two types of calculations.. Boolean expressions have a RIGHT answer and a RIGHT place to start... proofs can be done in a variety of ways and you simply have to see what's given and hope you can see how to get at the end result in the most efficient way.
And I think essay writing too.. I tend to do well.. because I automatically know the 'type' of essay everyone else is going to write, and so I take a unique (but acceptable) approach to writing. And going to volunteer every friday, speaking with the 'coordinator' while I'm there.. and our discussions are like... insane. lol. I don't know how to describe it accept that I felt like hugging her for some reason after we talked non-stop-intensity for 3 hrs (more on this later maybe) .. I guess it's bonding somehow .. and being like, 'hey so I just shared with you like.. a whole bunch of what I'm about.. .. so we're friends now..' People like that, I don't know, you don't really forget them no matter how short your time was spent with them.

off to take a badly needed (short) nap... out.

Lin  

  

 

 




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