Sullen v.5



Not Titled

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

(typed earlier.. don't really want to post it anymore, but whatever, here it is.. I think somehow it didn't get published)

into the ravine
grasping at the air
but it’s not there
to catch me

through a valley
making echoes
with the clouds
but nothing seen
beyond the shadow

it’s over and
and no where in between

it’s silent
yet throbbing
this serenity

uuh, yeah. psychoanlyze that. haha. I said I wasn't going to post for a while - I lied. Not sure where that poem came from just now, but wrote it in about a minute, and somewhat reflective of how I'm feeling (my hunch tells me it's coming from somewhere tied into a lack of sleep). lol.. let's just be honest, sometimes I just think flatout I'm weird. Or maybe it's not so-much weird as I feel like I somehow understand things from a completely different perspective than the majority of people. That's not to say my understanding/processing may be any *better*, but more abstract somehow. I guess it's kind of always been made evident through 'things' in life, moreso by the type of people I can relate well with in conversation and how they talk, but... I guess -lately- it feels more apparent through the small things. i.e. When a teacher is showing us an example of a 'testing' technique where there is a dark ink blot on a white piece of paper and asks us what we see, everyone started rambling off what they thought... then I said my perspective... ("Looks like two pigs walking forward (3-D looking) with their shadows on the ground").. and suddenly everyone else saw it after a few seconds and was like.. "WOAH.. you're right!" .. and other things like propositional calculus proofs seeming a lot easier to me compared to boolean expressions (where boolean expressions are simply analyzing a statement like: the cat and the hat .. in mathematical terms: cat ^ hat.) One interesting difference between the two types of calculations.. Boolean expressions have a RIGHT answer and a RIGHT place to start... proofs can be done in a variety of ways and you simply have to see what's given and hope you can see how to get at the end result in the most efficient way.
And I think essay writing too.. I tend to do well.. because I automatically know the 'type' of essay everyone else is going to write, and so I take a unique (but acceptable) approach to writing. And going to volunteer every friday, speaking with the 'coordinator' while I'm there.. and our discussions are like... insane. lol. I don't know how to describe it accept that I felt like hugging her for some reason after we talked non-stop-intensity for 3 hrs (more on this later maybe) .. I guess it's bonding somehow .. and being like, 'hey so I just shared with you like.. a whole bunch of what I'm about.. .. so we're friends now..' People like that, I don't know, you don't really forget them no matter how short your time was spent with them.

off to take a badly needed (short) nap... out.